Midlife Cannabis, Confidence & Real Talk for Women | I Know It Sounds Absurd

We open mid-chaos — Queenie's looking out the window at incoming weather and clocking the Belmont Stakes clock ticking down, while TT is recovering from twenty-one (count 'em, twenty-one) unsolicited phone calls from a porch enclosure company after the crime of simply browsing their website. One innocent look at three-season room options, and suddenly her phone is a hostage situation. Queenie sympathizes — she knows the company, they did her mother's enclosure — and confirms: yes, those people are hungry. TT vows never to do that again. From there it's a brief dispatch on Queenie's brother Brian, who's been hospitalized with a nosebleed that became genuinely life-threatening because he's on blood thinners. The dilemma, as Queenie frames it with zero sugarcoating: do you want to die of a heart attack or bleed out? Pick one. His wife's emergency field fix involved a tampon, which bought some time before getting saturated. He's going home with explicit instructions to never blow his nose again. He also looks like Shrek. He has not slept. Everybody is just fine. This slides naturally into the broader theme of everybody around them crumbling simultaneously — friends at doctors multiple times a week for different things, the body not cooperating the way it did at forty, children turning forty themselves (which: how), and the general indignity of midlife maintenance. TT notes to Honey earlier that day that "we all have something going on" and you just have to accept it. Queenie does not love this but cannot argue with it. There's a brief musical interlude celebrating cardiac stents and replacement shoulders, which honestly feels earned. The conversation turns to self-work and therapy — TT wonders aloud whether there are people who just... move on from childhood without any excavation, and Queenie's verdict is swift: those people are freaking crazy. You can usually tell when someone has done the work, she says, often by their vocabulary. This loops into narcissists, which both of them have in their lives, and the grim reality that there's no cure. Options are limited: go dark (no contact) or go grey (cordial, minimal, zero extra effort). The segue to the current political moment is smooth and immediate. Queenie describes the commander in chief as having "normalized" narcissism and brings up the AI-generated Trump-in-cheerleader-short-shorts image circulating online. It's Pride Month, she notes. He may finally be coming out. They laugh. TT reminds them they're laughing all the way to hell. Also: screwworms are back, ocean monitoring equipment is being removed, and there's no oversight of anything anymore. If you see things moving in your food, just ignore it. On the cannabis check-in: TT has had a full ten-milligram Floracal Farms Live Rosin Pink Lemonade sativa gummy (complete gummy, very deliberate), and Queenie has been smoking Banana Punch, a pre-ground indica with very small print on the packaging. Banana as a flavor descriptor is noted to be uncommon. This is deemed worth mentioning. The show's real comedic peak arrives courtesy of Conan O'Brien's podcast. Queenie went down a YouTube rabbit hole after Conan interviewed an intimacy coordinator, which led her to a segment featuring a young man whose company makes thirty-two custom condom sizes and offers a hotline where you can speak to said gentleman if you're unsure which size to order. He claims to be able to tell if callers are being truthful. TT has already seen this. The bit about guidance counselors not recommending "talking about dicks all day" as a career path lands. Queenie's advice: measure twice, not once. You only want to make that mistake one time. They are crying laughing. The news segment covers TSA's updated guidance technically allowing medical marijuana in carry-on and checked bags, with a TSA officer retaining final discretion. Queenie and TT are skeptical — it sounds great until you realize there's no guidance on how much, in what form, or what documentation actually counts as proof. Also: dogs in airports are primarily sniffing for explosives, not drugs, Queenie notes, so don't panic. Bottom line: it's loosey goosey, probably a step in the right direction, and you're still taking a risk. Bring your documentation. Keep original packaging. Maybe don't. TT's Choice (number sixty-six): Would you rather live your life as a reality show or a documentary? TT picks documentary, then has to be walked through what a documentary actually is when she's alive, then sticks with her answer on the grounds that reality shows feel predatory and she wouldn't want to be the subject of one. Queenie's contribution is to narrate TT's life in nature documentary voice — "here we have TT in her natural habitat... notice how she eats a gummy prior to coitus." This evolves into a discussion of rhino mating, specifically the part where the male must remain motionless inside the female for seven minutes without moving or the clock resets. Queenie has recently found this very erotic. She is going to tell Honey. TT's stomach hurts. Queenie names her reality show *Call T*. Done. The Fuck It List this week is a serious one: a friend of Queenie's, a woman their age with significant cardiac history, had her blood pressure medication changed and spent weeks feeling terrible, voicing concern at her hospital stay, being dismissed, and only getting the medication switched back when her primary care physician called the cardiologist directly. Within a day, she felt better. The fuck it goes to not giving up, to trusting your own body, and to having your problems minimized by a medical system that still, somewhere in its bones, operates like doctors are gods you stand up for when they enter the room. Queenie's message: advocate for yourself, and if you can't, find someone who can. The healthcare system is fragmented, it will trample you, and you are the only one who lives in your body. They close out with upcoming weeks — TT's visiting her son's art thing, Queenie has a quiet week plus a golf date before an absolutely packed following week including a tour for a potential new employer. Father's Day is next week. Wishes will be extended then. Bye bye. The outro is a song. TT wrote a lament about a zinnia eaten by a rabbit before it could grow. The final lines are: *those little fuckers. Those little fuckers. This was the zinnia of my dreams.* Truly, no notes.

Welcome to the Closet Disco Queen Pot-Cast, a #1 ranked Women in Cannabis (Feedspot, Million Pods; 2025) comedy podcast with music and pop culture references that keeps you laughing and engaged. Join our hosts, Queenie & TT as they share humorous anecdotes about daily life, offering women's perspectives on lifestyle and wellness. We dive into funny cannabis conversations and stories, creating an entertaining space where nothing is off-limits. Each episode features entertaining discussions on pop culture trends, as we discuss music, culture, and cannabis in a light-hearted and inclusive manner. Tune in for a delightful blend of humor, insight, and relatable stories that celebrate life's quirks and pleasures.
Our Closet Disco Queen Pot-Cast deals with legal adult cannabis use and is intended for entertainment purposes only for those 21 and olderVisit our Closet Disco Queen Pot-Cast merch store!
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Transcript

speaker-0 (00:03.646)
Hi there! Join our casual conversations for curious, bewildered, and aspiring midlife cannabis queens. Welcome to the Closet Disco Queen Podcast, featuring Queenie and Titi. So kick off your platform shoes, sit back, and get ready to laugh and learn all about adult use cannabis without having to ask a 22-year-old. Let's get rolling.

speaker-1 (00:32.11)
So hello T. Hello T. see I should say, let's see. Hmm. T T greetings. Hope hopefully that won't get cut off when we go through the edit. T T there we go. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So how are you?

speaker-0 (00:34.21)
Hello Queen.

speaker-0 (00:43.074)
Right, right. Greetings. Yeah. Good. We have had after storms last night, we have had an absolutely gorgeous, gorgeous day today. It was lovely, lovely. Yeah. So nice.

speaker-1 (00:59.782)
Well the wind's whipping up here, so I don't know if Dorothy's gonna be blowing through any minute now or what, but it's been threatening all day. So we're ju it's just a matter of time, of course. The Belmont is running in less than an hour. Ooh. And

speaker-0 (01:15.736)
Well hopefully it holds off. Hopefully.

speaker-1 (01:18.44)
Because that'll change the whole nature of the race, you know.

speaker-0 (01:22.345)
And all of the over and unders.

speaker-1 (01:24.446)
A muddy track yet that's absolutely so it does impact the odds and all that good stuff. So yeah, I I have no idea what the the latest forecast is, but I can just say looking out my window doesn't look doesn't look great. We're about what would you say, fifteen miles south? Yeah.

speaker-0 (01:44.844)
Yeah. Yeah. Well hopefully it's coming from the south. And I mean from the north. No. I don't know. Which is

speaker-1 (01:50.446)
We'll see. I don't But yeah, we're we'll keep an eye on that. I don't know I don't even know what the odds are. It's like I know the horse that was trained in Saratoga with by the Saratoga trainer is running in this race. But, you know.

speaker-0 (02:05.774)
Why do I know that? I read it somewhere. Yeah, yeah. have been in the New York Times.

speaker-1 (02:07.885)
You might

speaker-1 (02:13.172)
Our Closet Disco Queen podcast deals with legal adult cannabis use and is intended for entertainment purposes only for those twenty-one and older.

speaker-0 (02:25.23)
I've gotten, I think I counted a twenty-one of them phone calls. I went I was looking at this thing the other day from this porch enclosure company. I I went on it, I was I went online and I was looking. I was looking, I was like, wouldn't it be nice to make the deck into a three season room?

speaker-1 (02:31.274)
Twenty one phone calls from who? From

speaker-1 (02:45.598)
So I'd what's the name of the company? Is it the same one as that's here? Patio enclosures? Patio. They're the ones that did my mother's. Yeah, and and yeah. Patio and closures. But yeah, absolutely. I those people are hungry.

speaker-0 (02:47.51)
I forget.

speaker-0 (03:03.189)
You're very persistent.

speaker-0 (03:09.962)
And you know, I even like called the number back because I thought, What if this is what if this is somebody calling for a a job reference or something?

speaker-1 (03:19.457)
my god. She got parent.

speaker-0 (03:24.684)
Well, seriously, I deleted like twenty one of them today, this morning. They are persistent. Yeah. Wow. I'm not doing that again. I am not.

speaker-1 (03:29.747)
my god.

speaker-1 (03:34.956)
Man, did you have to agree to text or something? Or agree to be contacted just to get be able to see all the styles? Right. Right. No, if you're there, you you're not gonna leave without checking it out. You just wanna see what the hell's going on. Come on, I wanna see it. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Of course they do. You could have a three season room, a four season room. You can make it you know, my mother only went with three season. My

speaker-0 (03:40.398)
Yeah.

speaker-0 (03:51.341)
they wanna come out and do a free estimate.

speaker-0 (04:01.88)
Yeah.

speaker-1 (04:03.106)
The made it year round. My mother chose three suits season, but she does use her little electric fireplace and her little heater and Brian stays there regardless. He sleeps there. Could be forty below. He's been locked out a couple of times, but you know, he's had to he's got enough to use the restroom and she's locked him out. So like three in the morning. Yeah, so he's gotta make alternate alternate arrangements, you know what I mean. So he's yeah, he's gonna be able to

Get himself home tomorrow. He's been in the hospital, but

speaker-0 (04:36.162)
What a big deal. I know, nothing. A nosebleed could actually be life threatening.

speaker-1 (04:43.182)
Yes, when you're on blood thinners. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So the ch you know the cho and face with the choice, let's see. Do you want to die of a heart attack or a bleed out? Right. Which which do you prefer? Can't have it can't have it all.

speaker-0 (04:58.478)
She's back now. Number two. You're going one way or the other.

speaker-1 (05:04.288)
Yeah, pick one. So he's being discharged home with instructions that he can never blow his nose again because that's what kicked this whole ugly mess off. This is the

speaker-0 (05:13.87)
Possible. How is this yes, well, I I think you just can or something.

speaker-1 (05:21.538)
Dab or you know, wear a tampon in your butt. Don't laugh. That's what his wife ini initially used.

speaker-0 (05:29.039)
I that was a smart idea.

speaker-1 (05:31.966)
It got saturated like pretty quickly, so. But no we don't need to talk about my brother's nose period. You know. Just he's I'm sure very happy to be going home. He has not slept at really at all.

speaker-0 (05:45.159)
I can believe it. Those are not good places to get well. Yeah.

speaker-1 (05:49.89)
But he has his right nostril is now. He looks like Shrek.

speaker-0 (05:54.19)
With the thing in it. Huge. And it didn't bounce back in.

speaker-1 (06:01.494)
A huge right nostril. Not quite yet. Not when it was in that shape for four days or whatever. Wow. Yeah. Takes a little time for the body to retract, I guess. Good God. So Yeah. So everybody it's just fun so much fun getting home. Thanks. my god, what the hell? Everybody's like crumbling around us.

speaker-0 (06:16.942)
One of our favorite topics.

speaker-0 (06:23.15)
Good. And we are in A1 shape. Well sorry. I couldn't hold on to that.

speaker-1 (06:30.792)
If if if you could prove anything from, you know, doctor visits or things like that, I would say yes we are. I have friends that are like at the doctor for themselves at least once a week, once every other week. For different things, not even for the same thing. Yeah, it's like my God. No no Jesus no knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knocking all over the knock knock knocking on he no, I'm not knocking on Heaven's door.

speaker-0 (06:37.731)
Yeah.

speaker-0 (06:46.37)
Different doctors.

speaker-0 (06:50.51)
No, no, Yeah, I know. I know.

speaker-1 (07:00.32)
My God, stop it. So I mean I do have my physical in in a week or two, but you know, I'm not I'm not anticipating any issues.

speaker-0 (07:10.918)
Right. Right. So I mean, like I said to Honey today, you know, we all have something going on. we all And we have to get used to that we cannot yeah, physically we cannot. We cannot just, you know, give

speaker-1 (07:24.088)
can't assume we're gonna f feel like we did when we were, you know, forty. That sounds awful to say. I felt really good when I was forty.

speaker-0 (07:28.8)
Yeah, that's silly. That's

speaker-1 (07:36.918)
It's almost thirty years ago. mm-hmm. Mine's forty one. Let's just pump the old brakes.

speaker-0 (07:38.678)
My kid's gonna be forty too.

speaker-0 (07:43.34)
Yep, yep.

speaker-0 (08:02.984)
Breaking now is better than before. They did some miracles, they opened up my doors.

I can't believe it's me. All because of these things called cardiac stents. I was slowing down. I was hurting all the time. Now I'm better than before. And you know I feel just fine. Now I'm here.

Believe it's me all because of these things called loonies.

speaker-0 (09:26.648)
Hurting, I couldn't move my arms. Now I'm better than before. I can hug and I can charm. Now I'm here.

All because of these things, call replacement shoulder.

speaker-1 (10:11.084)
Yeah, so I was with my sister in law yesterday, so she her oldest grandchild is two and a half and she's got three grandchildren. So go for you figure figure from there. So there's two and a half year old, one one eighteen month old about and then a f like five month old. So she went to Florida is where the two little girls are, the five month old and the two and a half year old, to babysit while her son and s daughter in law went to a wedding.

So she had the children for the weekend. She's she's six years younger than I am, seven years younger than I am. She said, my god Like I forgot, she said, I forgot how busy these kid how busy kids are and how much energy it takes and getting up and down off the floor and my and it's non stop, nonstop.

speaker-0 (10:45.783)
Ha ha.

speaker-0 (10:59.628)
Their endless energy.

speaker-1 (11:01.978)
yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, my god, yeah, you f do you forget. But to her point, she's, you know probably, you know, gonna end up in Florida at some point because she said this time is going so quickly. I said, Yeah, hello. My oldest is going is starting high school. What the hell is wrong with this picture? How can I have a grandchild going to high school?

speaker-0 (11:27.604)
There's something very wrong about that stuff.

speaker-1 (11:30.06)
There's yeah, there's this is not right. This is not right.

speaker-0 (11:33.538)
Well mm mm mm mm. When we can remember high school so clearly.

speaker-1 (11:37.77)
I know I remember what I w I was Yeah, that's the sad part. That's really sad. It's like no, mm, yeah.

speaker-0 (11:45.71)
I wonder if there are some people who just are able to move on from any all the stuff that happened when they were kids, you know? Right.

speaker-1 (11:53.078)
You mean without therapy? Right. Right no, seriously, you mean you mean like that?

speaker-0 (11:57.998)
Like, Like do people just kinda go, Hey, w I was just a kid and I didn't like high school, but whatever.

speaker-1 (12:04.214)
Yeah,

They're f freaking crazy, you know, I think. You you you bump into them. Quite right. Yeah. yeah, they're out there. They're yeah. So I I think you can usually tell when someone has done some self work.

speaker-0 (12:13.698)
Yeah, so.

speaker-0 (12:23.074)
Yeah, yeah, that's true. I think so, yes. Especially with the vocabulary sometimes is given

speaker-1 (12:30.158)
Yeah, but you know, there but there are clearly folks who don't see the value. Or don't or or think that there's any reason.

speaker-0 (12:35.758)
Well they can't

I that's what I was gonna say. Some people just they don't even think they need to look at that. You know what I mean? They just are so I I guess narcissists are who I'm thinking of, you know, just like the whole world revolves around them.

speaker-1 (12:52.194)
Yes, and we all have narcissists in our lives. And that can be very frustrating for for for people if if you're dealing with a narcissist because really from what I've read and absorbed there's really there's really no cure.

speaker-0 (12:55.19)
Yes, we do.

speaker-0 (13:08.45)
There's no it's it's it's grim. They're they're not gonna change. You need to learn how to deal with them. Adapt.

speaker-1 (13:14.168)
There's yeah, the the

speaker-1 (13:19.104)
Unfortunately. I unless you you know you you go grey or whatever it is called, go dark. Go go go dark and and just have no contact. Or or the other th option is to go grey, which is like you say that you you interact in the least you know, the minimal

speaker-0 (13:36.108)
Right. Cordial or something.

speaker-1 (13:41.014)
Cordial, you know, there's no overt hostility, but one does not go out of one's way to, you know, interact or make up time to see one another, things like that. So yeah, it's it's a big problem and it you know, it's been kinda normalized with our cheerless leader.

speaker-0 (13:58.71)
Yeah, yeah. Commander in chief is an ours.

speaker-1 (14:02.262)
Did you see the latest AI generation of him in the short shorts? The cheerleaders? With the male cheerleaders? you gotta look it up right now. Okay. Te Google Trump cheerlead Trump short shorts with cheerleaders. And I'm sure it'll pop.

speaker-0 (14:11.416)
Okay. Okay, hold on.

speaker-0 (14:19.498)
It was overnight. Not seeing it. I'm seeing wait, wait, wait.

speaker-1 (14:24.79)
you see it? Is there something wrong with Well, I was just gonna ask a real really ridiculous question. Is there something wrong with him? What the hell? I've seen a a lot of commentary that it's interesting that it's it's Pride Month. I think it's like he's finally coming out. I know. Come on, they're all muscle bound. He's you know I The man is a is a sick sick ticket. There's no other way to describe it.

speaker-0 (14:46.412)
I know, but

speaker-0 (14:51.754)
I know. And you know, we're sitting here laughing, but really it's very scary. We're just laughing our way all the way to hell here.

speaker-1 (14:56.942)
Yes.

speaker-1 (15:01.27)
He's just you know, slappin' slap dashing whatever he wants. You know.

speaker-0 (15:05.282)
Yep, it's your bar now. I don't have anything to do with it.

speaker-1 (15:07.79)
Yeah, he's bored. Bored with it. you know, the blue reflecting pool. I I I can't tell are they going forward with the arch? Are they not going forward with the arch?

speaker-0 (15:17.494)
What about having his face on money? Haven't you talked about that?

speaker-1 (15:21.858)
I don't even wanna no please. Please, please, please. Haven't we suffered enough? We must have been really, really bad. We we we done something really wrong. I'm thinking it's, you know, taking all the indigenous land and you know I think so. I think so

speaker-0 (15:40.248)
This could be payback or per people like animals.

speaker-1 (15:46.156)
Yeah, do you think, you know, there's any correlation between our two hundred and fiftieth birthday and all, you know, hell breaking loose? I don't know.

speaker-0 (15:54.014)
Yeah. We deserve it.

speaker-1 (15:57.762)
You know, I s unreal. Unreal.

speaker-0 (16:01.25)
The moral arc of the universe is long.

speaker-1 (16:04.032)
There's a screw worm that hasn't been seen in decades that's a pair

speaker-0 (16:10.824)
From a from a fro a thawed out iceberg.

speaker-1 (16:13.422)
I no, it's I guess it's just somehow gotten into the country and it affects cattle and it can affect people and like just chews up all your muscles and it's very de it's devastating. It's in this country.

speaker-0 (16:28.316)
speaker-1 (16:30.166)
Yeah. Of this sc screwworm and cattle. So but

speaker-0 (16:34.091)
Two cases in the cattle or in the people? They're not in the people, right?

speaker-1 (16:38.222)
Cattle. It's easily transmittable apparently. And you know, everything's been dismantled, so don't worry.

speaker-0 (16:45.112)
Right. Right. There's no oversight anymore.

speaker-1 (16:47.692)
No oversight of anything, so just be care if you see things moving in your food, just ignore it, close your eyes, suck it up, so to speak. Yeah. He's removing all the ocean ocean the monitoring devices in the oceans. For small climate and ocean oceanography.

speaker-0 (17:04.831)
So smart.

speaker-0 (17:09.006)
Yeah. That's gonna help the yeah, help the boats a lot.

speaker-1 (17:15.366)
it's just too much. It's too much. It's too much. I was able to play golf yesterday. I that was a good that was a good thing. It was it was a nice day. It was warm, but it was it was nice to be outside and and and whack the bowl around a little bit. So

speaker-0 (17:24.718)
Yeah.

speaker-0 (17:32.852)
Nice. Okay. Some good news. Excellent. And I've spent the last couple of days doing a lot of puttering in the dirt. And my Dang it in the dirt. I'm I'm I'm in a battle of will with the bunnies. They I have some new Zindias coming up. And I used to plant them at my mom's house and so they have this special meaning for me and the little fuckers are as soon as one pops little just so I think I've thwarted them. I've

speaker-1 (17:40.94)
Digging in the dirt.

speaker-1 (17:57.089)
Nebling all

speaker-0 (18:00.876)
I've been watching when they pop up, I put like a a cup with the top the bottom cut out over it just to give a chance, you know.

speaker-1 (18:10.344)
I had purchased I don't know if you remember those they were mesh. They almost looked like a cake a cake holder.

speaker-0 (18:16.174)
Right.

speaker-1 (18:18.376)
And you know, I I push those over. Yeah. Yeah. Well and then you could

speaker-0 (18:22.834)
That's the same. Yeah, same idea. And I have a I have like a milk crate thing that doesn't have a bottom. And I've got it on yeah, on some of the other plants they were devouring. So anyway, I've been enjoying being out there in the garden.

speaker-1 (18:36.94)
that's good. That's good. Well it's I think we've turned the corner weather wise, although it did get down to forty two one morning this week.

speaker-0 (18:44.46)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's been chasing. I don't mind that so much. Well, forty two is cold. But yeah. So it really does, I don't know. It it affects my mood, you know. Like when it was all overcast and gray, I just didn't feel like d going anywhere or doing anything.

speaker-1 (19:01.024)
Absolutely.

speaker-1 (19:06.828)
No, no not go.

speaker-0 (19:12.802)
Morning, starting my routine. Coffee's nice, but nicer with some good old green. Gummy bears dancing, brownies in a tray. My buttenders asking what you had today. What have you consumed today? A cookie, a gummy, or a pot in J? Did you vape it, dab it, or roll your own way? Tell me what cannabis you consume today.

speaker-1 (19:51.192)
So Titi, what what what have you consumed today?

speaker-0 (19:54.648)
consumed Floracal Farms Live Rosin Gummies of the sativa variety. It is called Pink Lemonade and I had a full gummy which is ten milligrams for full gummy.

speaker-1 (20:01.036)
Riety.

speaker-1 (20:10.52)
For a complete gummy. Nifty five fish Trelicious. I have been smoking my god, little teeny letters. This is flour. It's jet fuel. It's pre-ground. And it is an indica. Let's see. Yeah, it's just a like a generic indica. no, it says wait, I can read it. Something punch. Banana punch. Cool. So banana punch. So it's an indica.

speaker-0 (20:14.584)
Yeah.

speaker-0 (20:21.92)
Okay, a new one.

speaker-0 (20:39.614)
Haven't heard that that anybody describe or use that a a banana as a banana as a name. 'Cause you know I know there's a bunch of citrusy type things, but

speaker-1 (20:50.604)
Yeah, that's true. Banana is not one of the more common descriptors.

speaker-1 (21:01.624)
That reminds me my god. I spent a good portion of today watching now I listened to Conan O'Brien's podcast. It's on in the background all day. And I don't know what got me going. He was talking to a an intimacy coordinator, a woman who this is what her job was, and she had brought some things to show him.

So he was like, my god, you've gotta get on YouTube to see this, da da da da da So I did. I went on YouTube 'cause I wanted to see what the types of things that she had brought with her. Well, that episode was hysterical, but that was just the beginning. I started clicking around. my god. I was Did you watch that? my god

speaker-0 (21:39.32)
sent me with the Yes honey and I was so freaking funny. my god. So young man.

speaker-1 (21:47.834)
Yes. Is that correct? Yes. So if you went and hi the company he works for makes custom well good they have what thirty some odd different size

speaker-0 (22:03.33)
Thirty two different sizes.

speaker-1 (22:05.575)
Condoms and what they include a a device that you can use too.

speaker-0 (22:11.564)
Measure. Almost like a measuring tape, yeah.

speaker-1 (22:13.954)
Yeah, yeah. They want you to measure the girth and the length and then if you're unsure about which to select, you can call and speak to this gentleman. Mm-hmm. And he claims to know just by speaking to people if they're telling the truth or not. I'm sure after speaking to you know, hundreds of guys, you can probably do develop a sense of who's who's telling the truth.

speaker-0 (22:38.04)
sense. Yeah. Interesting if they you know, if if the voice would match what they look like too. You know what I mean? Right.

speaker-1 (22:47.438)
That would be funny. That would be funny. But God, it was just so so

speaker-0 (22:52.216)
How funny. my goodness. It was great to laugh at that. Yes. Excellent.

speaker-1 (22:57.006)
God. And so there these are the jobs nobody thinks of. This is something your guidance counselor's not gonna say. Look, look, here's a customer service job and this is what you're going to be doing. You're gonna be looking at dicks all day, talking about them all day.

speaker-0 (23:13.326)
Measuring them.

speaker-1 (23:15.394)
Measure helping people measure them. Measure twice, not once, remember? You only want to make that mistake one time. So, you know, it was h absolutely hysterical. His hysterical. But that was just the beginning for me. I just ripped through I don't know how many the I I was like crying. I was laughing so hard. Just

speaker-0 (23:21.902)
Woohoo.

speaker-0 (23:40.524)
He was so freaking funny. and his friends are they were a riot too.

speaker-1 (23:46.422)
Gourley Gourley and Sona. Yeah. Yeah. Sona she's she's she's crazy. She's she's really crazy.

speaker-0 (23:48.76)
So yeah.

It was so funny.

speaker-0 (23:56.59)
Calling th some pee peas.

speaker-1 (23:59.63)
Well can you tell she's got twin boys?

speaker-0 (24:02.006)
That makes complete sense.

speaker-1 (24:08.041)
So yeah, that was pretty funny.

speaker-0 (24:10.274)
What's the latest button?

speaker-0 (24:16.94)
T T tell me the news, where is it legal?

speaker-0 (24:34.242)
Where is it?

speaker-1 (24:35.662)
Go.

speaker-1 (24:57.72)
So Titi, do you have a story for us this morning?

speaker-0 (25:00.27)
You know, I did. I don't know what I did with it. Let me hold on just a second to see if I can find it.

speaker-1 (25:06.54)
Well I'm glad it's not just me that loses track of things. So

speaker-0 (25:10.008)
So the news this week is that you can bring cannabis on an airplane. However, it is only medical cannabis that you can carry with you and you need to be able to prove that you have a medical reason. So it's what I was wondering is like, you know how they have those drug-sniffing dogs? Mm-hmm. Like, how are they gonna know, like if they

Like imagine what you have to go through if you are a medical user and all of a sudden, like, you know, the dog is barking and people are yelling at you and you know what I mean? Like how disruptive is that?

speaker-1 (25:51.998)
Well, I I don't think I'm speaking out of t turn here, but it's my understanding that the dogs in the airports are not drug sniffing, that their primary their primary purpose is explosives or weapons, guns, like smelling gunpowder, that kind of thing. So I don't think I don't think that they are trained to hit on on drugs. I mean they'd be arresting half of the people in the airport for guns. You know.

speaker-0 (26:05.63)
speaker-0 (26:17.153)
Interesting.

That's true. That's true.

speaker-1 (26:22.134)
Yeah. So I don't think that's so much a worry. However, well you fly a lot, you know, it's a it's a concern. But I I guess my c my question is, what are what are the guidelines?

speaker-0 (26:33.358)
Okay, here are the key points. Okay. It's TSA updated its guidance to list medical marijuana as allowed in carry-on bags and check luggage, though travelers remain subject to security screening. And TSA officers have final discretion over what passes through a check. So there's one. The guidance applies only to medical marijuana, not recreational cannabis, and travelers should review the laws in both.

their departure and destination states because medical marijuana rules vary across jurisdictions. So you have to figure out the place you're going and what their rules are there. And legal experts say traveling with medical marijuana is safer than before, but still carries risks. Travelers should bring any required medical documentation, keep products in their original packaging, and check airline policies before flying. Mm-hmm. And you never quite know like

In this article they say that TSA considers peanut butter to be a liquid. So you can't bring pe you can't fly with pe a jar of peanut butter. But that's just

speaker-1 (27:38.952)
They they they use discretion quite a bit.

speaker-0 (27:41.272)
Well, y I get or maybe they even have a list of, you know, do's and don'ts, you know, but I think in terms of of edibles and things like that, you know, you wanna just be careful that they're

speaker-1 (27:53.538)
Sounds pretty loosey goosey to me. Yeah. Like there's no like how much can you bring? Wha what form? Like you can only bring edibles, you can you know, you can't bring flour, you know, ha you can't bring hair whatever. What proof is required? I think you know, this sounds gr this sounds great, but it sounds like there's also quite a bit of

speaker-0 (27:55.522)
Yeah.

speaker-0 (28:17.302)
There's no Right, right. And there's pretty there's no clear guidance about how you prove that you're, you know, a patient. Right. But it you're right about the final decision is going to be resting with the TSA officer, whether or not they allow

speaker-1 (28:34.786)
I mean who knows Yeah. Who knows is this if this is a like a false flag kind of thing, like, yeah, you know, go ahead, c feel free to like a wink wink. We're you know, the TSA officers aren't really gonna be busting your balls if you're bringing weed on a f on a flight, cannabis on a flight. We have better bigger things to worry about kind of thing. But

speaker-0 (28:35.82)
Through.

speaker-0 (28:55.64)
Well it does they do say though that that even though they don't search or actually go looking for the drugs, like you were saying, right? But if but if if they see any illegal substance or evidence of criminal activity while they're going through well, you're going through a s security screening, they can refer you to law enforcement. Yeah. So Yeah. It's so weird. How yeah, how are how

speaker-1 (29:21.39)
I don't know. I I it doesn't make me f y on one hand I I'm thinking, yeah, you know, this shows maybe we're moving in the right direction. On the other hand, it's like so nebulous. It is. That it's worthless.

speaker-0 (29:32.894)
It's almost like worthless. Right. Right. Yeah.

speaker-1 (29:36.94)
So all right. Well thanks for bringing that to our attention. And I guess bottom line, you're still taking a risk. Yeah. But you can try to try your best to avoid any issues by having your prescription with you, keeping the original packaging, those kinds of things.

speaker-0 (29:43.118)
Yes.

speaker-0 (29:53.698)
Mm-hmm. Right, right. That's the the best way to minimize any problem. what was I just gonna say?

speaker-1 (29:59.638)
well, it happens to all of I forget frequently. Like if if I pause while sharing something or if something takes my attention away and I turn back, sometimes it's just well What was I doing? Did was I in the middle of saying something? Or just dropping or just have a blank look on my face like I got nothing.

speaker-0 (30:01.518)
It does.

speaker-0 (30:13.294)
What was doing?

speaker-0 (30:23.17)
That's what I'm doing right now.

speaker-1 (30:25.408)
Absolutely blank. That's that's that's the thing. That's the thing.

speaker-0 (30:32.366)
Either or peace Madonna or this that

speaker-1 (30:33.984)
WHAT MA

Skinny.

speaker-0 (30:39.766)
No stay go high, low.

speaker-1 (30:43.086)
So TT, are you ready to play TT's choice? The game in which you're provided the opportunity to make a choice from an either or a what if choose etc etc. You must make a choice and then hopefully explain to us why you made that choice. We have items numbered from one to seventy-five. You have made several selections to date.

Please avoid any of the numbers you have already selected.

speaker-0 (31:16.696)
Okay, how sixty six.

speaker-1 (31:19.458)
Sixty six Would you rather live your life as a reality show or a documentary?

speaker-0 (31:28.278)
Documentary, yeah, documentary.

speaker-1 (31:30.83)
Explain Slover Why did we make this interesting choice?

speaker-0 (31:34.636)
Because if it's a documentary is hm, I guess it feels more truthful in a way. I don't know. Why? Why are you laughing at me? Because

speaker-1 (31:44.022)
I mean you were pretty quick, would you say?

speaker-1 (31:49.356)
You seem to be struggling with your rationale for choosing a documentary all over the place.

speaker-0 (31:54.488)
Actually I was thinking Okay, you know why? Because initially I was thinking documentary is like you know, like a an autobiography. No, a biography, right? Like it happens after somebody dies and I was thinking it doesn't matter. But no, it doesn't mean the documentary is post mortem. It means now your life as you're living it as a documentary. Got it. Okay. Well

speaker-1 (32:20.11)
I i it it but yes, live your life, yes. Would you rather live your life?

speaker-0 (32:27.214)
Right. Not after. Okay. So now that we have that string down, I think I'm gonna I'm gonna stick with my answer. Okay. Why? Because

speaker-1 (32:36.323)
Why?

Why would you wanna live his life?

speaker-0 (32:40.512)
I find reality shows I find reality shows I think more people would watch a reality show than a documentary. But I I I don't I find them fascinating yet distasteful. So I wouldn't want to be in one. I would not want me to be the subject of one. They just feel so predatory, you know. Okay. And documentary's just talking about my boring life. I mean what pff Like I said, nobody's gonna pay money to go.

speaker-1 (33:07.726)
No archively in her natural habit observed closely.

speaker-0 (33:09.708)
Have yeah, here we have tea too closely. Notice how she eats a gummy prior to coitus.

speaker-1 (33:18.168)
prior to engaging in her mating ritual and accepting.

speaker-0 (33:23.022)
Accepting advances from the mail.

speaker-1 (33:26.602)
Accepting penetration from the male. Penetration has to last at least seven minutes. I've been watching a lot of Zeus shows and this the rhino has successfully copulated with the female. The male rhino. He's had trouble in the past finding being being successful in finding the He's gotta stay in place for a period of time.

speaker-0 (33:33.417)
my god.

speaker-0 (33:37.71)
This is how they talk.

speaker-1 (33:56.012)
And you know, they're big, sometimes they can't hold themselves up.

speaker-0 (34:00.6)
Like they just fall over.

speaker-1 (34:04.022)
They just fall over. They just they have to give up. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much.

speaker-0 (34:09.814)
Some these I yeah we take to climb up, right? I mean they have to do something. Imagine trying to move that mass. Yeah.

speaker-1 (34:18.636)
Yeah, and then, you know, hit the spot and stay there for seven minutes like and they're not moving, they're just like

speaker-0 (34:27.469)
Really? They're just like clenched together? Interesting. It's just how does

speaker-1 (34:30.784)
Yeah, there's no like rhino style. Rhino style. Just just enter me and don't move. Don't move at all. Just stay there for seven minutes. Do not move. Do not move. I this is I've recently found that I f I find this very erotic.

speaker-0 (34:40.014)
Like I can't.

speaker-0 (34:52.843)
Rhinos? Running rhinos? Nervous for a minute there.

speaker-1 (34:57.101)
Instructing honey to enter you with not moving. And then you saying, I've suddenly found this to be very erotic. See how long that lasts? The longer the better.

speaker-0 (35:08.136)
Just stand there. Don't look on.

speaker-1 (35:10.37)
No moving. No no I have to start over now. I have to reset the clock. It's a delicate balance. I think that there's an argument to be made for that. my god.

speaker-0 (35:29.464)
My stomach hurts.

speaker-1 (35:31.126)
mine does too. Ha.

speaker-0 (35:33.038)
I actually do have muscles down there. Very silly.

speaker-1 (35:35.924)
Amused, but there's my reality show. What am I gonna name it? Call T. That's what I'm gonna name it.

speaker-0 (35:44.174)
It's so perfect.

speaker-1 (35:46.126)
There you go. Just came up with it. There. I think it's perfect. So that's my that's my that's th there you go. There's my answer. Alright.

speaker-0 (35:48.918)
Yep, I like it.

speaker-0 (35:56.838)
Alright. We gotta listen, it's getting long. Petty too profound. What feels so wrong? Sticky nuts and middle-age sass. If it don't serve us

speaker-1 (36:09.718)
If can kiss our

speaker-0 (36:13.694)
Fuck it, fix it or forget it. We're seasoned queens. Don't regret it. If it drains our soul or waste our wit. We file it under, hell no, skip it. From bad frost to toxic friends. We draw the line and tie the ends each week. A gripe war hill to die on with queens.

T T the fucking list lives on

speaker-1 (36:52.024)
So Titi, are you ready to add to our fuck it list? Okay. Like like I've got a lot to choose from. So Titi, I heard from a friend this week, a woman of our age, who has had some challenging physical issues, primarily cardiac. And you know, it's been very anxiety producing and and challenging and scary. Just downright scary. So long story short.

speaker-0 (36:55.5)
Yeah, ma'am. Okay.

speaker-0 (37:18.198)
Yeah.

speaker-1 (37:21.378)
This person has, you know, sees a number of different physicians and is followed closely. But there was a recent change in medication. Okay. That, you know, after a couple of days, this person felt not great that the the medication wasn't doing it was a blood pressure medication, wasn't controlling your blood pressure adequately, was having symptoms, you know, pressure in her head and the actual high blood pressure, blah blah blah blah blah. So in the interim

you know, from the initial change in the medication to this week. there was also a brief hospital stay, at which time this person voiced concern about this medication change. She ha had felt good taking the other medication, couldn't under you know, why can't I go back on it? Blah blah blah. So here, fast forward again, two more weeks. We're still not feeling a hundred percent. We go to see our internal medicine person or

Primary care physician. Right. Go through the whole story, da da da. I'm ta change to this medication. It's not working. It's not working. I wanna go back on the the the So she insisted pretty much and so her physician called the cardiologist and basically said, It's not working. So a only at that point did he agree. Okay.

speaker-0 (38:42.412)
He wouldn't believe her.

speaker-1 (38:44.558)
And within a day she started feeling better. So she's saying fuck it to not to not giving up. Like fuck it to putting up with people telling you that you don't know what's your body's feeling like. Mm-hmm. Like fuck it. You've got to advocate for yourself. And Yeah, I mean

speaker-0 (39:05.72)
Have to. Yeah. Yeah. I know. And it's hard because when we were growing up doctors were like, you know, like

speaker-1 (39:13.112)
Well and this person has worked in health care in the past in in the old days where yeah they were gods. You know, they came into the nurses station and if there were no seats, you stood up. You just stood up. You went Doctor here, please sit down. God, let me get your charts for you. You know, there's yeah, do you need your ass wiped? I'm I'm here. I'm here to do that for you. So I I I think this is a very powerful

speaker-0 (39:23.564)
Yep. You just Yeah.

speaker-0 (39:41.694)
Yeah, it's very cool. Yes. And good for her. I'm so

speaker-1 (39:46.942)
Especially with something as serious as your heart. You know, I mean, you're feeling you're feeling it. You're the you know, it's your organ. Mm-hmm. So so

speaker-0 (39:57.336)
You have to trust your own body. Right.

speaker-1 (40:03.906)
Well yeah, I mean and you know, I think

speaker-0 (40:06.286)
Fuck it our problems being minimized.

speaker-1 (40:09.454)
There go. Yeah, all of the above. All of the above. So thankfully this person said fuck it and took control and is feeling much better. Thankful for that. So that's great.

speaker-0 (40:18.05)
I'm so glad. That's great. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's another one that's another one that has to do with basically claiming ourselves.

speaker-1 (40:24.023)
That's

speaker-1 (40:28.556)
That's right. That's right. Because let me tell ya, if you can't advocate for yourself you you need to have someone in your corner who can. Because otherwise you'll you'll be just trampled by the healthcare system. I'm sorry, that's the sad reality because it's become so fragmented and specialized and everybody's you know, y y you don't unless you're s you're being seen by cardiology, for example, most cares provided by hospitalists

speaker-0 (40:47.71)
Right, yeah.

speaker-1 (40:57.794)
You know, if you're in for a medical problem. So it's it's different. It's totally different than even twenty years ago. Mm-hmm. So you have to educate yourself and be your be an advocate. And like I said, if you can't do it, find someone who can. So Titi, anything exciting going on this weekend? Not how the weekend my God. It is Saturday. I is Saturday. Anything going on exciting this week?

speaker-0 (41:15.938)
Nothing this weekend.

speaker-0 (41:22.338)
It's right.

speaker-1 (41:25.984)
I'm disoriented now. I'm I think I've burned out some self

speaker-0 (41:29.964)
I am actually tomorrow, this weekend, I am going to my son's finally for the art thing.

speaker-1 (41:35.864)
Well, I have a quiet week with the exception of a golf date at this point. The following week is going to be unbelievably busy.

speaker-0 (41:44.446)
Is are you you have people coming in for your work or

speaker-1 (41:48.564)
I have a potenti I have new a new employer coming in for a tour. So I'm looking forward to that. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. So everybody have a wonderful week.

speaker-0 (41:55.158)
Wow.

speaker-0 (42:02.35)
Yes, ma'am. Bye bye.

speaker-1 (42:05.118)
is next no, there's nothing going on this week. So this isn't Father's Day weekend. No. We're not gonna be that's a fun. Next week we'll have to wish Yeah every all the dads out there who may or may not be listening. Happy Father's Day. 'Cause that's the least we can do. Yeah. Well T T enjoy yourself. Yes. Bye bye.

speaker-0 (42:23.478)
Thank you.

Bye.

Thanks for joining us at the Closet Disco Queen Podcast. Grab a brownie or doobie, pass us to your friends, and be sure to follow us on Apple Podcasts wherever you listen. And be sure to leave us a five-star review as it helps others find us. Key South.

speaker-1 (42:37.058)
Follow us or where

speaker-0 (43:04.534)
It was my own lisania I was really proud of it But a rabbit got to it before it could grow A bunny ate myzania I think I should have fenced it in but then again though

Those little fuckers burrow. Those little fuckers. Those little fuckers. Those little fuckers. Those little fuckers. This was the zenia of my dreams.

But you had to eat the least you left nothing for me, no zinio for me.